View Full Version : do you have questions without answers
who was the first person to look at a cow and say "hey, lets grab those things dangling under its ass and drink whatever comes out?"
Or wonder what the motivation behind some things were? For example, the flame thrower. At some point in time someone had to look at someone else and think, "Hey, I'd like to set that guy on fire, but I don't want to walk all the way over there to do it."
Why do blondes dye their roots brown?
-Is Jerry Garcia grateful to be dead?
-Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?
-If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?
-If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
-If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
-How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
-If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, could you eventually be Captain Crunch? Would there be a lawsuit in such a case?
-If all of the Acme stuff doesn't work, why does Wile Coyote keep buying their products?
-Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?
-Why is it called a Hot Water Heater when you don't need to heat hot water? It should just be called a water heater.
-Can someone give up lent for lent?
-If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
-Why do they put Canadian bacon on Hawaiian Pizza?
If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?
When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion
stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there
is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does "Fat chance" and "Slim chance" mean the same thing?
fireblade1
10-15-2004, 10:39 PM
Where in the world you come up with this stuff we will never understand, but keep em coming! This shows you have way too much time on your hands. Does that mean that we do as well since we took the time to read them? HMMM............
JasonZX6R
10-15-2004, 11:00 PM
Originally posted by zedx
-Can someone give up lent for lent?
LOL... Sorry Doug, I thought of you and had to laugh !!
Fisdu
10-15-2004, 11:39 PM
Originally posted by JasonZX6R
LOL... Sorry Doug, I thought of you and had to laugh !!
yeah, that is funny, and FYI, no, they can't or won't give up lent for lent.
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?
How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called "near miss"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
gixxxer351
10-16-2004, 08:46 AM
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds ?
Why Is eleven spelt starting with ' E ' ?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
gixxxer351
10-16-2004, 08:55 AM
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why do irons have a setting for permanent press?
How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?
How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?
How young can you die of old age?
Can you be arrested for selling illegal-sized paper?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?
If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
If you're born again, do you have two belly buttons?
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
Where would we be without rhetorical questions?
Will your answer to this question be no?
gixxxer351
10-16-2004, 08:56 AM
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why are there still monkeys and apes?
Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets are dressing up as mattresses?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If vampires have no reflection, how come they have such neat hair?
Do good S&M fans go to Hell?
If swimming's such good exercise, how come whales are so fat?
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
How do Keep Off The Grass signs get there?
Could God make a burrito so hot he couldn't eat it?
Do we make bombs better or worse?
Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
If a person told you they were a pathological liar, would you believe them?
Can you learn to read from a "Reading for Dummies" book?
If someone gives you a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go? Do you get change?
If pro is the opposite of con, and progress is moving forward, what is congress?
gixxxer351
10-16-2004, 08:57 AM
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
If Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
Why is it that raindrops, but snowfalls?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed," when afterward, it doesn't work anymore?
gixxxer351
10-16-2004, 08:57 AM
If a drug store is open 24 hours, why are there locks on the doors?
If you make a cow laugh, will milk come out its nose?
Why can't Mr. Fork and Mr. Electrical Socket be friends?
Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if i squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation?
Why was the Holy Roman Empire neither holy nor Roman?
If a tree falls on a mime in the woods, and there's no one there to hear it, does the mime make a sound?
What is the speed of darkness?
If a man washes a dish, and no woman is around to see it, did it happen?
Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it is?
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
Do three headed fire dragons have heated arguments with themselves?
Why exactly is there a snow-globe with summer scenes?
What do picket sign writers put on their signs when they go on strike?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?
Why is minimalism such a big word?
If buttered bread always lands on the butter-side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what happens if you strap buttered bread to a cat's back?
What'd happen if the man took the advimil and the woman took the viagra?
Why do ballerinas stand on their toes? Can't they just get taller women?
Do fish get thirsty?
gixxxer351
10-16-2004, 08:58 AM
If you learn from mistakes, why aren't I a genius?
Why don't people on TV ever go to the bathroom?
How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?
If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
Why do banks leave both doors open, yet they chain pens to the countertops?
Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet soda?
Why is there Braille on drive-through ATM machines?
Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected the expected?
If a building is on fire, and you make more fire, would it be considered making the fire worse or better?
Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
gixxxer351
10-16-2004, 09:07 AM
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What happens when you call an 800 number collect?
When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves?
Why are builders afraid to have a thirteenth floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Aren't all generalizations false?
Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?
Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?
Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
How can the weather be "hot as hell" one day and "cold as hell" another?
If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?
gixxxer351
10-16-2004, 09:09 AM
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbit's foot?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
Would a part-time bandleader be considered a semi-conductor?
Can someone be a closet claustrophobic?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it homeless or naked?
If you ate pasta and antipasta at the same time, would you still be hungry?
How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why do most countries have only one Monopolies Commission?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made from?
What could porn actors possibly do for fun during their time off?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
gixxxer351
10-16-2004, 09:36 AM
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little
bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards
is Naive?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does
that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
When shooting a mime - Do you need to use a silencer???
good except for the repeats from one post to another.
4Given-Squid
10-16-2004, 08:35 PM
good except for the repeats from one post to another.
4Given-Squid
10-16-2004, 08:35 PM
good except for the repeats from one post to another.
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